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    RRP 102 — Lee Anne K.; Turning On the Light: Recovery, Resilience, and Radical Self-Acceptance

    ​One Day, One Choice, One Light Switch at a Time

    Some episodes arrive at exactly the right moment. When Julie and Peter sat down with Lee Anne K. on February 12, 2026, they did not know they were recording on the 20th anniversary of one of the most painful days of her life. Lee Anne did. And she showed up anyway — with humor, candor, and an unshakeable belief that no matter how dark it gets, the light switch is always within reach.
    ​Lee Anne is a nearly nine-year member of the recovery community, a devoted AA participant, a proud straight ally, a pen pal to strangers, and, by her own admission, the podcast’s self-appointed number one fan. From Scappoose, Oregon, she brings a story that is equal parts raw and redemptive — one that travels from a first marriage entered too young, through relapse and treatment, to the life she has built with intention, grace, and a 140-item list of things to do instead of drink.
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    This episode is about what recovery actually looks like when the cameras are off and the clichés run dry. It is about reframing. It is about self-care that does not apologize for itself. And it is about choosing, every single day, to turn on the light.
    About Lee Anne K.
    Lee Anne first arrived in the rooms of AA in May 2008, though her current sobriety date is March 12, 2017 — her nephew’s birthday, a date she holds as both anchor and reminder: she cannot be Aunt Lee Anne if she goes back out.
    Her story does not begin with a dramatic rock bottom in the conventional sense. It begins with a young woman who married right out of high school, found herself deeply unhappy, and turned to alcohol as a way to escape the question she kept asking herself:
    “What the hell did I do?
    There was a stepson to raise whose mother had drunk herself to death. There was a husband who was later found to have another child in Virginia. There were compulsive patterns that predated the drinking — a depression-era scarcity mentality passed down through generations, a middle child’s hunger for recognition, and a need to fill something she could not yet name.
    ​Lee Anne is also candid about her neurodivergence. She was in talented and gifted programs as a child, attended private school, and describes her brain as one that does not necessarily work the same way as others. The same intensity that made her dance so hard at a treatment center karaoke night that she medically discharged herself the next morning is the same intensity that today fuels her pen pal network, her 140-item recovery toolkit, and her commitment to showing up for everyone around her.
    Struggles and Turning Points
    Lee Anne’s relationship with alcohol deepened in her first marriage and tracked alongside unhappiness rather than any single catastrophic event. She describes watching a Simpsons episode in which Marge challenges Homer to go 30 days without Duff beer and sitting there convinced her family must be watching her. The next day she texted them:
    “I’m going to beat Homer Simpson.”
    ​They had no idea what she was talking about. She did 37 days — then a neighbor came over with a vodka orange juice and she decided she had already won, so it was fine.
    ​Her first real entry point into AA came through a women in IT meeting at Nike, where a colleague stood up and mentioned her 17 years of sobriety. Lee Anne nearly broke her neck turning around fast enough. After the meeting she could not get a single word out. The woman simply handed her a name tag with her extension written on it. That woman — Fran — became Lee Anne’s first sponsor, and colleagues even lent her their cars so she could drive to meetings.
    “If you are in a dark place, turn the light on. There are light switches around, there are candles. You have a choice. You are responsible for your own happiness.”
    — Lee Anne K.
    ​A DUI eventually led to required counseling, which opened a spot at Pathways in St. Helens — a treatment center she reframed as summer camp in order to get through the door. She danced so intensely at a karaoke event during treatment that she could not walk the next day, which led to a medical discharge before completion. She moved back in with her parents, then into their garage, then into an apartment with her son, relapsed while working a fourth step, and arrived at her current sobriety date on March 12, 2017.
    ​Two weeks after that last drink — not recommended, she is clear about this — she met the man who would become her husband. She told him immediately: she was new in recovery, her time would be limited. He respected that. He still does.
    ​The Work Lee Anne Does in Recovery
    Lee Anne’s recovery is built on a foundation of practical tools, deep community, and a philosophy she keeps printed in rainbow colors behind her monitors at home:
    I am living life on life’s terms. I am protecting my peace. I am forgiving others for not being how I expect them to be. I am responsible for my own happiness. I am giving myself and others grace and mercy. I am choosing to turn the volume down on things that do not align with my emotional, spiritual, physical, mental, intellectual, social, occupational, financial, environmental, and life goals. Self-care is not selfish.
    Among the tools that anchor her:
    • Letter-writing. Lee Anne buys stamps in bulk and periodically reviews her contacts asking: who needs a love note today? She types 96 words per minute, and writes with the same ease. Julie keeps a portion of one of Lee Anne’s letters taped to her computer. Letter-writing, Lee Anne says, is therapy — a form of journaling that reaches outward instead of staying private.
    • The 140-item list. A running document of things to do instead of drinking: send love texts to family, cook a meal for someone else, review the church prayer directory and mail cards, read a comic book, dust picture frames. The list exists to interrupt negative thinking and redirect energy toward connection and care.
    • The 10-minute coin. Lee Anne distributes these to newcomers: one side reads Unity, Service, Recovery — 10 Minutes. The other carries the Serenity Prayer. Her message is simple: if you can wait 10 minutes, you might be okay.
    • Meetings. Lee Anne attends the Lunch Bunch / Extended Family online meeting, introduced to her by Colette, where she found the safety she had not felt at the men-only Monday meeting in Scappoose. She has spoken at NARA three times and at Pathways in St. Helens twice. She sponsors, and she receives sponsorship.
    • Allyship as service. Lee Anne makes it a point to love everyone with a beating heart — a value rooted in watching family members treated poorly for being gay or lesbian. She carries a straight ally sticker on her car and is deliberate about inclusion in every space she enters.
    • Nature and higher power. From her easy chair in Scappoose, on windy days, she can watch the movement of the trees between the houses. For Lee Anne, that is a glimpse of something larger — the God she grew up with, offering balance without demanding anything in return.
    Lee Anne K. did not come to the Real Recovery Podcast with a polished narrative. She came with a clipboard of notes, a Lee Jeans t-shirt with her name stitched underneath the logo, socks that declare her a delicate flower, and 20 years of hard-won perspective on a day she once thought might define her forever.
    ​What she leaves listeners with is not a formula. It is a posture: face toward the light, protect your peace, love generously, and when the darkness comes — and it will come — remember that the switch is right there. You just have to reach for it.
    Recovery looks different for everyone. Lee Anne’s version involves stamps and pen pals and a shitty attitude coin she brought back from the East Coast and a rainbow mantra on her wall. It is entirely her own. And that, she would tell you, is exactly the point.
    Listen & Read More
    Listen: https://mdcr1.com/102
    Blog: https://mdcr1.com/102b
    Newsletter: https://mdcr1.com/newsletter
    #RealRecoveryPodcast #Recovery #Sobriety #AA #AlcoholicsAnonymous #RecoveryIsPossible #SoberLife #MentalHealth #SelfCare #Resilience #RecoveryCommunity #LGBTQ #StraightAlly #Neurodivergent #Portland #Oregon #Podcast #Hope #YouAreNotAlone #TurnOnTheLight
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    RRP Episode 101 – Building a Life After Prison: Austin’s Path Through Recovery and Service

    From incarceration to self-worth, identity, and the daily work of recovery.

    ​In RRP Episode 101, Julie and Peter sit down with Austin Cole for an honest and reflective conversation about incarceration, recovery, and what it truly means to build a life after prison. Austin’s story is not framed as a single turning point, but as an evolving process—one shaped by mentorship, self-reflection, and learning how to meet emotional needs in healthier ways. Listeners can hear the full conversation on the Real Recovery Podcast.
    ​From Prison to Possibility
    Austin shares openly about his time at the Oregon State Penitentiary and how incarceration became an unexpected space for education and internal change. Rather than describing prison solely as loss, he reflects on how structure, learning, and mentorship helped him begin reshaping his values and beliefs.
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    A pivotal part of Austin’s journey involved relationships formed while incarcerated—people who saw potential when he struggled to see it himself. These connections helped shift his mindset from simply getting through each day to imagining a future grounded in growth and responsibility.
    ​Recovery as an Evolving Process
    Throughout the conversation, Austin emphasizes that recovery is not static. What worked early on changed as his understanding of himself deepened. He speaks candidly about how his values shifted over time and how learning self-love became central to his recovery.
    “I’m doing this for myself and I’m doing this because I love myself.”
    — Austin Cole
    ​
    This shift, from external validation to internal accountability, marks a major theme of the episode. Austin describes how recovery matured alongside his identity—moving beyond survival and into intentional living.
    ​Community, Emotional Needs, and Growth
    Julie and Peter explore with Austin how unmet emotional needs often show up as conflict, frustration, or misunderstanding—both in recovery spaces and in everyday life. Austin reflects on learning to recognize those needs in himself and others, and how communication and compassion play a role in long-term recovery.
    The episode also touches on the balance required when working in recovery while maintaining personal recovery. Austin speaks honestly about meetings, recovery environments, and the ongoing effort it takes to stay grounded and accountable.
    ​Building a Life After Prison
    Rather than presenting recovery as a finish line, this episode highlights it as a continuous practice. Austin’s journey underscores the importance of mentorship, community, and self-reflection in building a life after incarceration. He also references his work connected to Cleanse Wellness Company and the motivation behind sharing his story more publicly, including through his book Chains to Change.
    Links to Websites Discussed
    ​#RealRecoveryPodcast #RecoveryJourney #LifeAfterPrison #AddictionRecovery #Reentry #Healing #CommunitySupport #SecondChances
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    RRP Episode 100 – Bill M: One Honest Day at a Time in Long-Term Recovery

    What accountability, humility, and staying present really look like after sobriety.

    Reaching 100 episodes is a meaningful milestone for the Real Recovery Podcast, and we chose to honor it the same way we always have—by centering lived experience and honest conversation. In this episode, Bill M joins us to talk about long-term recovery and the work that continues long after someone stops using. This is a grounded, real discussion about responsibility, growth, and choosing recovery one honest day at a time.
    ​Long-Term Recovery Beyond Sobriety
    Bill shares openly about what long-term recovery requires beyond simply getting sober. He reflects on learning how to be honest with himself, taking responsibility for his actions, and staying engaged in the work of recovery even when it’s uncomfortable. This episode speaks directly to the reality that recovery is not a finish line, but an ongoing process that requires intention and effort.
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    ​Accountability, Relapse, and Rebuilding Trust
    A central theme of this conversation is accountability. Bill talks candidly about relapse, what he learned through self-reflection, and how taking ownership of his choices became a turning point in his recovery. He also discusses rebuilding trust—both with others and with himself—and how consistency over time matters more than words alone.
    ​Community, Service, and Staying Present
    Bill emphasizes the role of community and connection in sustaining recovery. He shares how being involved, staying present, and giving back have helped him remain grounded. Rather than avoiding discomfort, Bill describes learning how to sit with difficult emotions and continue showing up—an essential part of long-term recovery.
    ​A Milestone Episode
    Episode 100 is a reminder of why these conversations matter. Recovery is not about perfection or having all the answers—it’s about honesty, accountability, and continuing the work, one day at a time. Bill’s story reflects the reality that growth often comes through humility, connection, and persistence.
    ​“I had to stop blaming everything else and really look at my part in it. That’s when recovery actually started to stick.”
    — Bill M
    Links to Websites Discussed
    If this conversation resonates with you, we invite you to listen to RRP Episode 100 and share it with someone who may need to hear it today.
    Listen here: https://mdcr1.com/100
    Read the show notes: https://mdcr1.com/100
    #RealRecoveryPodcast #Episode100 #LongTermRecovery #RecoveryJourney #Accountability #OneDayAtATime 
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    RRP Episode 99. Ebony — Choosing Recovery, Rebuilding Trust, and Living the Work (Part Two)

    ​What happens after awareness turns into action

    In part two of this two-part conversation, Ebony continues her story by stepping into the realities of recovery. Picking up exactly where part one ended, this episode focuses on what comes after awareness — the choices, challenges, and ongoing work that shape early recovery. Rather than presenting recovery as a single turning point, Ebony shares what it looked like to begin doing things differently, one decision at a time.
    ​From Awareness to Action
    As this episode begins, Ebony reflects on the moment awareness turned into responsibility. Recognizing patterns was no longer enough — change required action. She shares what it meant to start making different choices, even when those choices felt uncomfortable or unfamiliar.
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    ​This part of the conversation highlights how recovery often begins quietly, not with certainty, but with willingness. Ebony’s story speaks to the courage it takes to move forward without having everything figured out.
    ​The Realities of Early Recovery
    Ebony speaks candidly about the challenges of early recovery, including learning how to sit with emotions instead of escaping them. Old survival patterns didn’t disappear overnight, and new tools had to be practiced before they felt natural.
    ​Rather than framing recovery as immediate relief, this episode offers an honest look at the work involved — building structure, asking for help, and staying accountable even when progress feels slow.
    ​Rebuilding Trust and Learning to Stay Present
    A central theme in part two is rebuilding trust, especially trust with oneself. Ebony shares how recovery required learning to stay present, to respond instead of react, and to show up consistently even on difficult days.
    ​Support systems and accountability played a critical role in this process. The episode underscores how recovery is rarely done alone, and how connection can become a foundation for long-term healing.
    Recovery as an Ongoing Practice
    As the conversation continues, Ebony emphasizes that recovery is not a finish line. It is a daily practice shaped by honesty, reflection, and continued growth. This perspective reframes recovery as something lived, not achieved — a process that evolves over time.
    ​Her reflections offer reassurance to listeners who may feel pressure to “get it right,” reminding us that progress often looks like persistence rather than perfection.
    ​“I had to learn how to sit with myself instead of trying to escape how I felt.” — Ebony
    ​Part two of Ebony’s story brings the focus to what’s possible when awareness turns into commitment. By sharing the realities of early recovery and the work that followed, Ebony offers listeners both hope and honesty. Her story reminds us that recovery is built through small, intentional steps — and that meaningful change is possible, even when the path forward feels uncertain.
    Listen & Explore More
    If you haven’t yet, start with Part One (Episode 98) to hear the foundation of Ebony’s story, then continue the journey here. If this episode resonates, consider sharing it with someone who may need to hear that recovery is a process — and that they don’t have to walk it alone.
    #RealRecoveryPodcast, #AddictionRecovery, #RecoveryJourney, #EarlyRecovery, #LivedExperience, #HealingInProgress, #SobrietyStories
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    RRP Episode 98. Ebony — Trauma, Identity, and the Road That Led to Recovery (Part One)

    Understanding the roots of addiction before recovery begins

    ​In part one of this two-part conversation, Ebony joins Julie and Peter to share the early chapters of her lived experience. This episode focuses on the before — the trauma, identity struggles, and survival strategies that shaped her path into addiction long before recovery felt possible. Rather than rushing to solutions, this conversation stays grounded in understanding the “why,” offering listeners space to reflect on how pain, disconnection, and coping behaviors take hold.
    ​The Early Foundations of Trauma and Identity
    Ebony begins by sharing formative experiences from her early life that influenced how she saw herself and the world around her. These moments shaped her sense of identity and belonging, laying groundwork that would later influence her relationship with substances. The conversation highlights how trauma doesn’t always announce itself loudly — sometimes it quietly embeds itself in daily survival.
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    ​As Ebony reflects on these experiences, it becomes clear how early emotional wounds can shape coping strategies long before someone recognizes them as harmful. This part of the story centers on context, not judgment, and emphasizes the importance of understanding lived experience as a foundation for healing.
    Survival, Coping, and Emotional Disconnection
    As the conversation unfolds, Ebony describes the ways survival patterns and emotional disconnection developed over time. These coping mechanisms served a purpose — helping her get through moments that felt overwhelming or unsafe — but they also created distance from herself and others.
    Substance use is discussed not as a moral failing, but as a response to unresolved pain. Ebony’s honesty sheds light on how addiction can function as an attempt to manage emotions, avoid vulnerability, and maintain control in the absence of safer tools.
    The Cost of Staying Disconnected
    Throughout part one, Ebony begins to recognize patterns — noticing the emotional and relational costs of staying disconnected. Moments of awareness surface, not as dramatic turning points yet, but as subtle cracks in old narratives. These realizations mark the beginning of questioning long-held beliefs and coping strategies.
    ​This section of the episode underscores that awareness often comes before action. For many people, understanding the impact of trauma and addiction is a necessary step before recovery can truly take root.
    ​Why Understanding the “Why” Matters
    Part one closes by reinforcing the importance of naming the underlying pain beneath addiction. Ebony’s reflections highlight why trauma-informed conversations are essential — not just for people in recovery, but for families, providers, and communities seeking to support healing.
    ​“I didn’t even realize how much I was carrying until I finally stopped running from it.” — Ebony
    ​What’s Next
    This conversation continues in Part Two (Episode 99), where Ebony shares how recovery began to take shape, what healing looked like in practice, and the work she’s doing today. Part two picks up exactly where this episode ends.
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    ​If this episode resonates with you, stay tuned for Part Two and consider sharing this story with someone who may need to hear it. Recovery starts with understanding — and no one has to do it alone.
    #RealRecoveryPodcast, #AddictionRecovery, #TraumaAndRecovery, #LivedExperience, #RecoveryJourney, #HealingThroughUnderstanding, #SobrietyStories
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    RRP Episode 97 – Quentin: Relapse, Shame, and the Courage to Come Back

    ​A raw conversation about relapse, accountability, and finding the strength to return when shame tells you not to.

    Relapse is one of the most difficult and misunderstood parts of recovery. In RRP Episode 97, Quentin joins Julie and Peter to share an honest, unfiltered look at what happens when someone drifts away from recovery, the shame that follows, and the courage it takes to come back. This episode doesn’t sugar-coat the reality of relapse—it speaks directly to those who feel disconnected, discouraged, or unsure how to return.
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    ​When Recovery Slowly Slips Away
    Quentin describes how relapse didn’t happen all at once. It started quietly—by stepping away from the routines, relationships, and accountability that had once kept him grounded. As distance from recovery grew, so did isolation. Shame made it harder to speak up, harder to ask for help, and easier to stay silent.
    This part of Quentin’s story reflects a truth many in recovery recognize: relapse often begins long before substance use returns.
    ​Shame, Accountability, and the Cost of Silence
    One of the most powerful themes in this conversation is accountability. Quentin speaks openly about how shame kept him from being honest with himself and others—and how that silence caused real damage to trust and relationships. Rather than framing relapse as failure, Quentin emphasizes responsibility: owning what happened, acknowledging the impact, and choosing to face it head-on.
    ​Recovery, as this episode makes clear, isn’t about avoiding mistakes—it’s about what we do after them.
    ​Choosing Help When It Matters Most
    At a critical moment, Quentin made a decision that changed everything. Faced with overwhelming despair, he chose to reach out for help instead of giving up.
    “You are going to kill yourself, sir. So going to therapy was like my final attempt before I really attempt something bigger.” — Quentin
    This moment underscores the life-and-death importance of access to support, culturally responsive care, and spaces where people feel seen and understood.
    Coming Back and Rebuilding Trust
    Returning to recovery wasn’t easy. Quentin talks about the work required to rebuild trust—with others and with himself. He shares how community, honesty, and persistence helped him reconnect, stay present, and continue moving forward. His story is a reminder that coming back takes courage—and that recovery communities matter most when things fall apart.
    Quentin’s story challenges the idea that relapse defines a person. Instead, it shows that recovery is about honesty, accountability, and the willingness to return—even when shame tells you not to. This episode offers hope to anyone who feels disconnected and reminds listeners that it’s never too late to come back.
    Listen and Learn More
    ​#RealRecoveryPodcast, #RecoveryJourney, #RelapseRecovery, #RecoveryIsNotLinear, #AccountabilityInRecovery, #HealingInRecovery, #SobrietySupport, #RecoveryCommunity, #MentalHealthRecovery
    @RealRecoveryPodcast