One sock. One moment. Thirty-plus years later, he still carries it.

He was out of money and out of reasons. At the end of a long night with nothing left, Paul O. had a plan and a bridge in mind. He ran a quick inventory of the people in his life — and convinced himself, one by one, that they'd be better off. Then he got to his mother. And something stopped.

That moment — where his mother's unconditional love became the only thing standing between Paul and the end — is where this episode begins. But it is not where it ends. What comes after that bridge is a story about 13 years of sobriety, a trip to New Zealand that unraveled all of it, a completed First Step that took 13 years to finish, and a lesson about burgundy socks that we promise you will carry long after you stop listening. You need to hear this one.

Rejection Brought Her Here. Recovery Is Keeping Her.

There is a moment Tiffany D. describes that we haven't been able to stop thinking about. She is driving back from Arizona on a highway somewhere in Klamath County, blacked out, swerving, her car starting to smoke — and she does not remember passing Las Vegas. Not a blur of lights. Not a vague sense of having been there. Nothing. Vegas was just gone.

She tells that story not to shock you, but to get to the part that hit her hardest: it wasn't her own life she thought about first. It was everyone else on that road. That shift — from "I could have died" to "I could have taken someone's family" — tells you everything about where Tiffany's head and heart are now. And she's only one year in.

Two Years, No Filter, No Guests — Just the Truth

There's a moment in this episode where Julie goes quiet for just a second before she says it, and we want you to hear it the way she said it — not read it summarized here. Her sponsor picked her up for a meeting recently, and before they pulled away he looked at her and said: I just want you to know you're my favorite person. I love you more than anyone. Julie is an only child. Her mother once told her she never should have had a child. She spent six months to age eleven with nannies. And this man — her sponsor of nearly five years — said those words with nothing behind them, no conditions, no angle, nothing owed. Julie says she's not sure she'd ever had that in her whole life before recovery. You need to hear what that moment sounds like in her voice.

This is Episode 110, and it's just us — Julie and Peter, no guest, no script, no polish. We're two years in and we wanted to stop and actually talk about what those two years looked like, because if we're being honest, year two was not what we planned.

When You Finally Say Yes to Your Own Life

Brian R. told us something in this episode that we haven't stopped thinking about. He was talking about the Native elders in his community — men and women who drank hard when they were young and eventually had to stop or die — and he said his whole life was preparing him to do the same thing. To stop. To become an elder. To do good. Hear it in his voice and you'll understand why we've been wanting to get him on the show for over a year.

Brian is a Klamath tribal member, an artist, and now a community radio DJ in Portland. His road to sobriety runs through two DUIs, a COVID isolation spiral, and a urine test result that stopped his intake counselor mid-sentence. He walked into that IOP intake room planning to lie his way through the program. Something shifted. You need to hear what he says happened next — and what he did with it — because listen to Episode 109 is the only way to get the full story.

One Line That Changes Everything

There is a moment in this episode where Jerry B. says something we hadn't heard before. He'd spent nearly a decade completely sober — not drinking, not using — going to work, coming home, watching TV, going to bed. And yet. "I was so dry by then," he said, "I was like flammable. I was exactly the same person as I had been when I was drinking — just without the alcohol."

We had to sit with that one.

Jerry grew up in a family where recovery was the air he breathed. His dad has 53 years in Alcoholics Anonymous. His mom found sobriety when Jerry was young — and the moment she came home from treatment is one of the most tender things in this episode. You'll want to hear it in his words, not ours.

Real Recovery Podcast Inc. Joins Fred Meyer Community Rewards — Shop and Support Recovery in Portland

We're officially enrolled

We're thrilled to share that Real Recovery Podcast Inc. has been accepted into the Fred Meyer Community Rewards program. This is a free, easy way for our community to support us every time they shop at Fred Meyer — no extra spending, no extra steps. Just swipe your Rewards Card.

The program works by pooling spending from all supporters who link their card to us, then donating a portion back to our organization every quarter. The more people who link their cards, the more we earn.

How to link your card in 3 steps

Spread the word

This program grows with community participation. If you shop at Fred Meyer, please take two minutes to link your card — and share this page with friends and family who shop there too. Every linked card helps amplify recovery voices in the Portland community and beyond.

Questions? Reach us at info@realrecoverypodcast.com or call (503) 810-8851.

Real Recovery Podcast Inc. is a registered 501(c)(3) nonprofit — EIN 99-1347297www.realrecoverypodcast.com

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