RRP Episode 53 - Darrell DuBois: Pioneering LGBTQ+ AA Recovery, The Live and Let Live Club & Surviving AIDS

How one man’s courage helped shape LGBTQ+ recovery spaces while surviving the AIDS epidemic.

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In this powerful episode of the Real Recovery Podcast, we sit down with Darrell DuBois, a true pioneer in the LGBTQ+ recovery community. As one of the founding members of the Live and Let Live Club, Darrell helped create a safe and welcoming space for LGBTQ+ individuals in Alcoholics Anonymous when few such places existed. His journey is one of resilience, survival, and advocacy, as he also stands among the longest-surviving individuals diagnosed with AIDS in the United States.

Darrell’s story highlights the importance of community in recovery, the challenges of being openly gay in a time of widespread discrimination, and the transformative power of living an authentic life. Join us as he shares his nearly 30 years of sobriety, the struggles and triumphs of founding one of Portland’s first LGBTQ+ AA meetings, and the lessons he’s learned along the way.

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Live and Let Live: Creating Safe Spaces for LGBTQ+ Recovery

For those in the LGBTQ+ community, finding acceptance in recovery spaces was not always easy. Recognizing this need, Darrell became one of the founding members of the Live and Let Live Club, one of the first AA meeting spaces specifically designed to support LGBTQ+ individuals seeking sobriety.

The Live and Let Live Club became a lifeline for many, providing a safe environment where members could speak openly about their experiences without fear of judgment. The club grew into a thriving community, welcoming countless individuals and offering them the support they needed to embrace recovery fully.

Surviving the AIDS Epidemic and Finding Strength in Sobriety

Darrell was diagnosed with AIDS in 1984, a time when the disease was poorly understood, and stigma was rampant. Doctors gave him little hope, but Darrell’s will to live, his recovery community, and medical advancements helped him defy the odds.

Throughout his battle with AIDS, Darrell found support in organizations like Our House Portland, which provides compassionate care for those living with HIV/AIDS. He also found solace in the Portland Gay Men's Chorus, where music became a source of healing and connection.

​Despite the challenges, Darrell never returned to drinking or using. Instead, he turned to service, helping others in recovery and advocating for LGBTQ+ individuals facing addiction. His story is a testament to strength, resilience, and the power of community.

"Had it not been for recovery, I know I would not be alive today."
​—Darrell DuBois

Lessons from Nearly Three Decades of Sobriety

Darrell’s story offers valuable lessons for anyone navigating recovery:

• Community is everything. Finding the right people can make all the difference in maintaining long-term sobriety.
• Honesty and authenticity lead to healing. Being able to tell your full story in recovery is essential.
• Advocacy saves lives. Creating safe spaces for marginalized communities in recovery helps break the cycle of addiction.
• Sobriety is a daily commitment. Darrell has remained committed to recovery despite facing unimaginable hardships.

Darrell DuBois' journey is one of overcoming adversity, breaking down barriers, and leaving a lasting impact on the recovery community. From pioneering LGBTQ+ AA meetings to becoming one of the longest-living AIDS survivors, his story is a beacon of hope for anyone searching for recovery and belonging.

Links to Websites Discussed:

• Live and Let Live Club (AA) – https://liveandletliveclub.wordpress.com/​
• Portland Gay Men's Chorus – https://www.pdxgmc.org/
• Our House Portland – https://www.ourhouseofportland.org/
• Real Recovery Podcast – https://www.realrecoverypodcast.com

Listen to Darrell’s Full Story Here:

• Episode Link: https://mdcr1.com/53
• Read the Blog Post: https://mdcr1.com/53b

#RealRecoveryPodcast #LiveAndLetLive #LGBTQRecovery #AddictionRecovery #ResilienceAndHope #AIDSSurvivor #SobrietyStories #CommunitySupport

Show Notes:

Title: RRP Episode 53 - Darrell DuBois: Pioneering LGBTQ+ AA Recovery, The Live and Let Live Club & Surviving AIDSPresenters: Julie and Peter
Length: 1 hour, 10 minutes
Links to Websites Discussed:

• Live and Let Live Club (AA) – https://liveandletliveclub.wordpress.com/
• Portland Gay Men's Chorus – https://www.pdxgmc.org/
• Our House Portland – https://www.ourhouseofportland.org/
• Real Recovery Podcast – https://www.realrecoverypodcast.com

Key Points with Time Stamps:

• [00:01:34] Introduction to Darrell DuBois and his profound impact on the recovery and LGBTQ+ communities.
• [00:05:16] Darrell’s early life: Coming out in the 1960s, facing family rejection, and becoming homeless at 16.
• [00:10:22] Finding community in Eugene and Portland: His path to stability and personal growth.
• [00:14:45] Darrell’s battle with addiction and how he found his way into recovery.
• [00:20:10] The founding of the Live and Let Live Club, one of the first LGBTQ+ AA groups in Portland.
• [00:25:55] His survival through the AIDS epidemic and being one of the longest-living AIDS survivors in the country.
• [00:30:40] How Portland’s Gay Men’s Chorus and Our House provided a foundation for his recovery.
• [00:38:12] Lessons from 28 years of sobriety and the importance of being able to tell your full story in recovery.
• [00:45:50] Darrell’s powerful message to those in early recovery: “You are welcome, wanted, and needed.”

Summary:In this heartfelt episode, Darrell DuBois takes us on a journey through his remarkable life—from facing rejection and homelessness as a teen to becoming one of the longest-surviving individuals diagnosed with AIDS. As a founding member of the Live and Let Live Club, he played a pivotal role in creating safe recovery spaces for the LGBTQ+ community. Darrell opens up about his battle with addiction, his path to long-term sobriety, and the vital support he found through community, music, and advocacy. His story is one of resilience, healing, and hope, proving that recovery is possible no matter what.
Conclusion:Darrell’s journey is a testament to strength, perseverance, and the power of recovery. His story serves as an inspiration for those navigating sobriety and seeking a place to belong. Whether you’re in recovery, supporting someone who is, or just looking for hope, this episode will leave you deeply moved.
Hashtags:#RealRecoveryPodcast #LiveAndLetLive #LGBTQRecovery #AddictionRecovery #ResilienceAndHope #AIDSSurvivor #SobrietyStories #CommunitySupport