Episode 60 – From Fentanyl to Freedom: Conard’s Journey Through Methadone, Identity, and Hope

​Rebuilding a Life Through Truth, Treatment, and Community

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In episode 60 of the Real Recovery Podcast, we welcome Conard Carroll, whose journey of healing began when he was ready to stop hiding—from addiction, from the truth, and from himself. Conard’s story speaks to the power of honesty, the importance of accessible treatment, and the strength it takes to claim your identity in recovery.

“I couldn’t stop using. I couldn’t stop drinking. I hated myself...”
— Conard C.

From Isolation to Addiction
Conard grew up feeling like he didn’t belong—queer, neurodivergent, and unsure how to express his truth. Even while excelling in school and landing a job in software development, he found himself spiraling into addiction. Alcohol turned into pain pills, then into nitrous oxide and fentanyl. As Conard describes it, “I couldn’t stop using. I couldn’t stop drinking. I hated myself...”

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A Moment of Clarity in the Hospital
​His turning point came in a hospital room, where Conard decided he wanted to live. He entered methadone treatment on October 3, 2022, and soon after stopped using fentanyl entirely. That date became a cornerstone in his journey. With the support of community programs and a daily structure, he started to rebuild his life from the inside out.

​“October 3rd, 2022 is when I started methadone and then early in November, or mid-November was the last time I smoked fentanyl.”
— Conard Carrol

Healing Through Honesty and Identity
​A big part of Conard’s recovery has been finding the courage to live as his full self. Coming out as pansexual in recovery spaces and writing out his steps gave him a sense of peace and purpose. Through Heroin Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous, Conard found belonging. Writing became a lifeline, helping him process thoughts and reinforce his recovery principles.

Tools and Transformation
​Methadone gave him stability. Meetings gave him community. Writing gave him clarity. And honesty—about who he is and what he needed—became the foundation of his new life.

Links to Websites Discussed

• Heroin Anonymous (HA)
  
• Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
  
• Real Recovery Podcast
  

“I found people who told me that I was worth loving.”
— Conard Carroll

​Conard’s story is one of transformation through truth and treatment. From fentanyl addiction and emotional isolation to a grounded life filled with purpose and connection, his recovery journey is a reminder that freedom is possible—and that we’re never truly alone when we choose honesty and community.

Listen: https://mdcr1.com/60
Blog: https://mdcr1.com/60b

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#RealRecoveryPodcast #FentanylRecovery #MethadoneSuccess #QueerInRecovery #AddictionRecovery #HopeAndHealing #HeroinAnonymous #FromFentanylToFreedom @RealRecoveryPodcast

Show Notes:

Title: RRP Episode 60 – From Fentanyl to Freedom: Conard’s Journey Through Methadone, Identity, and Hope
Presenters: Julie and Peter
Length: 1 hour, 5 minutes
Quote: “I couldn’t stop using. I couldn’t stop drinking. I hated myself... and I found people who told me that I was worth loving.” – Conard
Links:
Listening Link: https://mdcr1.com/60
Blog Link: https://mdcr1.com/60b
Real Recovery Podcast

Key Points with Time Stamps:

• [00:00:55] Introduction to Conard’s story and the moment he reached out for help
• [00:04:02] Growing up queer and neurodivergent, feeling isolated and misunderstood
• [00:10:15] Hiding behind academic and early career success while battling alcoholism
• [00:14:30] Escalation of use, including nitrous, fentanyl, and isolation from loved ones
• [00:18:40] A critical hospital moment that shifted his mindset and opened the door to recovery
• [00:23:55] Starting methadone treatment and building the structure needed for healing
• [00:32:12] Discovering recovery tools through Heroin Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous
• [00:42:10] Embracing truth, coming out as pansexual, and finding peace in identity
• [00:50:25] Practicing honesty, writing his steps, and developing a daily recovery rhythm
• [00:58:40] Final reflections on community, spirituality, and the freedom of self-acceptance

Summary:
Conard Carroll’s story is one of raw truth and hard-won freedom. After years of addiction that included alcohol, nitrous, and fentanyl, Conard found his turning point in a hospital bed. What followed was a powerful journey through methadone treatment, honesty, and connection. In this episode, Conard shares how coming out as pansexual, joining HA and AA, and writing down his recovery principles helped him reclaim his life. His story is a reminder that healing starts with truth, and freedom begins when we learn to love ourselves.

Websites Discussed:

• Heroin Anonymous (HA)
• Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
• Real Recovery Podcast

Call to Action:
Listen to the full episode: https://mdcr1.com/60
Read the blog post: https://mdcr1.com/60b

Hashtags and Mentions:
#RealRecoveryPodcast #FentanylRecovery #MethadoneSuccess #QueerInRecovery #HA #AA #AddictionRecovery #HopeAndHealing #FromFentanylToFreedom @RealRecoveryPodcast