Episode 60 – From Fentanyl to Freedom: Conard’s Journey Through Methadone, Identity, and Hope4/24/2025 Rebuilding a Life Through Truth, Treatment, and Community
In episode 60 of the Real Recovery Podcast, we welcome Conard Carroll, whose journey of healing began when he was ready to stop hiding—from addiction, from the truth, and from himself. Conard’s story speaks to the power of honesty, the importance of accessible treatment, and the strength it takes to claim your identity in recovery.
From Isolation to Addiction
Conard grew up feeling like he didn’t belong—queer, neurodivergent, and unsure how to express his truth. Even while excelling in school and landing a job in software development, he found himself spiraling into addiction. Alcohol turned into pain pills, then into nitrous oxide and fentanyl. As Conard describes it, “I couldn’t stop using. I couldn’t stop drinking. I hated myself...”
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A Moment of Clarity in the Hospital
His turning point came in a hospital room, where Conard decided he wanted to live. He entered methadone treatment on October 3, 2022, and soon after stopped using fentanyl entirely. That date became a cornerstone in his journey. With the support of community programs and a daily structure, he started to rebuild his life from the inside out. “October 3rd, 2022 is when I started methadone and then early in November, or mid-November was the last time I smoked fentanyl.”
Healing Through Honesty and Identity
A big part of Conard’s recovery has been finding the courage to live as his full self. Coming out as pansexual in recovery spaces and writing out his steps gave him a sense of peace and purpose. Through Heroin Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous, Conard found belonging. Writing became a lifeline, helping him process thoughts and reinforce his recovery principles.
Tools and Transformation
Methadone gave him stability. Meetings gave him community. Writing gave him clarity. And honesty—about who he is and what he needed—became the foundation of his new life.
Conard’s story is one of transformation through truth and treatment. From fentanyl addiction and emotional isolation to a grounded life filled with purpose and connection, his recovery journey is a reminder that freedom is possible—and that we’re never truly alone when we choose honesty and community.
#RealRecoveryPodcast #FentanylRecovery #MethadoneSuccess #QueerInRecovery #AddictionRecovery #HopeAndHealing #HeroinAnonymous #FromFentanylToFreedom @RealRecoveryPodcast
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RRP Episode 59 – Camille’s 8-Year Sobriety Milestone and the Power of Partnership in Recovery4/17/2025 A journey of resilience, love, and finding purpose in the heart of recovery.
In this milestone episode of the Real Recovery Podcast, we welcome Camille Ireland-Esquivel as she celebrates her eight-year sobriety anniversary. Co-hosted by Julie and Peter, this conversation unfolds with heartfelt honesty, exploring Camille’s journey through early childhood loss, identity discovery, and the transformative power of community and partnership.
From the Out in Recovery Conference to the creation of the new Rogue Community Center (a project of True Colors Recovery), Camille’s story is one of growth, grit, and giving back.
Finding Strength Through LossCamille’s early years were marked by profound loss, including the death of her mother and the challenges of navigating life with her sister under the guardianship of their aunt. A move to Alaska became an unexpected chapter of resilience, as Camille faced childhood trauma while yearning for connection and healing.
Embracing Identity and CommunityRecovery provided Camille the space to fully embrace her identity. Coming out during her recovery journey brought a new layer of self-acceptance, met with love from her family and community. “They were like, 'We know!'” Camille shares, laughing at the warmth of the response.
The Power of Love and PartnershipHer relationship with Amanda, founder of True Colors Recovery, has been a cornerstone of Camille’s recovery. Together, they’ve built a partnership rooted in mutual growth, advocacy, and love. Camille reflects, "She is me, and I am her. We get to grow and struggle together".
Creating Spaces for Others to HealCamille and Amanda are expanding their mission by establishing the Rogue Community Center in Grants Pass. This new center aims to provide inclusive services to a community in need of safe, welcoming recovery spaces. Their shared dream of bringing healing back to their hometown is becoming reality.
Celebrating Sobriety and Personal GrowthMarking eight years of sobriety, Camille emphasizes the importance of choosing herself every day. Her story illustrates that recovery is not a destination but an ongoing journey filled with learning, growth, and new beginnings.
Camille’s journey is a testament to the power of partnership, personal determination, and community support in recovery. Her story reminds us that even amidst life’s uncertainties, hope and healing are always within reach. With love, resilience, and a clear purpose, Camille continues to inspire those around her—and now, she shares her light with all of us.
#RealRecoveryPodcast #SobrietyAnniversary #QueerRecovery #AddictionRecovery #TrueColorsRecovery #RecoveryIsPossible @TrueColorsRecovery
RRP Episode 58 – From Surviving to Serving: Nicole S.’s Journey Through Trauma and Recovery4/10/2025 How early trauma, addiction, and relapse gave way to a life of recovery and purpose.
In this deeply honest episode of the Real Recovery Podcast, Peter and Julie sit down with Nicole S., who shares her journey from early trauma and addiction to becoming a force for healing in her community. With refreshing clarity and humor, Nicole reflects on how the chaos of her upbringing fueled her path into sex work, substance use, and eventually into recovery and service.
Nicole’s Story: Where It Started
Nicole grew up surrounded by addiction, dysfunction, and violence. Her childhood included exposure to drug use and physical abuse, and her adolescence was shaped by instability. She started smoking and drinking in high school, later graduating to more dangerous forms of escape. By her early twenties, she had entered the world of sex work—not for survival, she explains, but because the fast money was intoxicating.
The Spiral: Meth, Heroin, and Chaos
It wasn’t long before Nicole’s experimentation led her to methamphetamine and, eventually, intravenous use of both meth and heroin. She describes the speed of her descent—within months of first using, she was shooting up regularly.
But despite the depths of her addiction, Nicole was never arrested, and she never went to jail—something she openly acknowledges as rare and lucky.
The Moment That Changed Everything
It wasn’t the threat of legal trouble that led Nicole to her first real effort at recovery—it was her children. One day, they asked her why she loved drugs more than them. That question stopped her cold.
From there, she asked for help and began the hard road to recovery. After several years clean, Nicole experienced a relapse that brought her into contact with fentanyl. The experience was painful, dangerous, and transformative. Recovery and Service at Quest
Today, Nicole is not only clean—she’s serving others. She works at the Quest Center for Integrative Health, where she helps LGBTQIA+ clients find their own paths to healing through case management and peer support.
Nicole’s story isn’t about prison or arrest—it’s about how deep pain can still lead to deep purpose. It’s a reminder that we don’t need to wait for everything to fall apart to choose recovery. With support, honesty, and community, we can rebuild.
#RealRecoveryPodcast #TraumaRecovery #AddictionRecovery #QuestCenter @QuestPDX
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